1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,880 How you doing? You're a doctor. I'm not doing your bloody job for you. 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:05,760 Always with your nose in a book. You probably haven't got there yet. 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,640 Your nose is the pointy bit on the front of your face. 4 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:10,200 I wouldn't recognise your mum if I bumped into her in John Lewis. 5 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,840 What does your girlfriend do? Graphic design. 6 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,480 Will you marry me? No. What's going on? 7 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:18,000 You misdiagnosed his mother so 8 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,080 he was delivered about 15 weeks too early. 9 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:23,240 You're lucky to have Adam to learn from. Don't do what he does. 10 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,080 Yeah, bit of bad news, I'm afraid. 11 00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,600 The mum's lodged a complaint. 12 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,360 I really did try my best for you. 13 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,000 Hey, someone! Look, find a doctor. 14 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,240 She's fainted. I think she's having a fit. 15 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,720 Is anyone here a doctor? 16 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:47,040 We need a doctor! Anyone? 17 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,960 Are you...? A GP. 18 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,400 Dentist. 19 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:51,800 Trainee dentist. 20 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,840 BELL RINGS 21 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,240 TANNOY: Please be seated, ladies and gentlemen... 22 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,040 Ah, right. ..as the second half 23 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,680 is about to commence. Shit. 24 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,520 Excuse me. 25 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,360 Excuse me. Sorry. 26 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,760 The locum didn't turn up. I'm really sorry. 27 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,920 I'll make it up to you if it's the last thing I do. 28 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,040 I think this might be the last thing you do. 29 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,800 Hi. Hi. 30 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,480 How was the first half, then? 31 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:47,240 Oh, my God, the, the music and the costumes.... 32 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,280 And how do they remember all the words? 33 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,120 It's really... It was awful. 34 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,520 I think you could hear Stephen Sondheim spinning in his grave. 35 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,720 I think he's still alive, isn't he? Poor man. 36 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,760 Could I grab anyone a drink from the bar before the...? 37 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,200 Plus, we were saddled with an understudy, 38 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,000 with barely ten minutes' notice. 39 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,880 That is really annoying. Which part? 40 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,040 Would your friend like a chocolate? 41 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,640 Boyfriend, actually. 42 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,880 TICKING 43 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,200 HE GASPS Stop fidgeting! 44 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,240 I don't know if Adam mentioned, 45 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,400 but we'd love to take you for dinner. 46 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,000 Oh, we should probably get off, actually. 47 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,080 You sure we can't tempt you for a quick bite? 48 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,600 We've got a table booked at this 49 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,480 little French place on Poland Street. 50 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,720 My friend's a waiter there. 51 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,360 Well... 52 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,120 I'll call you in a couple of weeks. 53 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:19,560 Fucking hell. 54 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,800 The handshakes. 55 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,160 To be fair, she always used to give me a nice hug 56 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,080 when she dropped me off at school. 57 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,840 And a note saying, "Have a successful term." 58 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,920 I'm normally great with mums. 59 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,440 It's a shame you were late. 60 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,240 Well, I can't do half a Caesarean, can I? 61 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,800 I know. It's just... it wasn't quite, 62 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,440 "We'll tell her over a nice dinner," was it? 63 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,760 Oh, she's known ever since she caught me wanking off to He-Man. 64 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,760 Look on the bright side. You're never gonna 65 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,160 have to sit next to her at the top table now, are you? 66 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,160 I never said never. 67 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,360 Didn't say yes, though, either, did you? 68 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:53,160 No, I said that... You know what I said. And you agreed. 69 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,240 Do you wanna grab a drink? How about ten? 70 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,920 Why don't you have another go? 71 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,040 Because... Give her a call and take her out for dinner. 72 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:07,400 ..you would have to prise my cold dead hands from the phone. 73 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,960 For me? 74 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,760 She's not gonna be able to do this week anyway. 75 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,480 It's a full moon. 76 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,040 HE HOWLS 77 00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:27,760 WHISPERS: That's it. 78 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:28,960 Nice big breaths. 79 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,120 Did you know that if you spread out the surface area 80 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,520 of your lungs and put them on a football pitch... 81 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,200 ..that's an instant red card and a direct free kick? 82 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,200 Don't listen to anything your mum says, by the way. 83 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,080 She's just a bit upset with me. 84 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,760 So's my mum, actually. 85 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,800 Maybe it's a mum thing. 86 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,920 Oh, and Harry is, too. 87 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,000 Maybe it's a...a people thing. 88 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,040 BACKGROUND CHATTER 89 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:41,360 Hi! Oh! Oh, God, sorry. 90 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:42,400 Fuck's sake. 91 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,160 Is that your statement? 92 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,720 Not even started mine yet. 93 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,600 Well, I've only managed seven words and a coffee stain. 94 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,040 Get me a latte. 95 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,280 Bring it up to labour ward. 96 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,680 Please. 97 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,040 Tell me you don't have to work with that twat. 98 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:05,600 Er, who, Adam? 99 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,160 Oh, er, no, he's all right, really. 100 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,400 Shit, sorry. 101 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,160 I didn't mean to be rude about your friend. 102 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,000 I was trying to... 103 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,800 I'm Ben. 104 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,200 That's my name. Obviously. 105 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,000 Er, Shruti. I know. I mean... 106 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,520 Do you like eating pizza? 107 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,600 That sounds like I'm saying you're fat. 108 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,800 I don't think you're fat. 109 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,520 I think you're not fat. I... 110 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,360 I think I'm gonna just start again. I'm Ben. 111 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,800 Would you like to go for something to eat, 112 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,560 for example, a pizza? 113 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,600 Er, yeah, that sounds nice. 114 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,200 Great. 115 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,640 Er, when? Like, tonight? 116 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,520 Oh, er... Tomorrow? 117 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:47,600 Saturday? 118 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,200 March? 119 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,240 Er, tomorrow. Tomorrow... Tomorrow could work. 120 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,760 But it's just us three, right? Like, you, me and Adam? 121 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,840 BEN LAUGHS 122 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,000 I'll meet you round the front, like seven...ish? 123 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,560 Yep. 124 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,600 Er, Beatrice, you're in Room Two. Second baby. 125 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,400 Apparently she's Jason Orange's cousin. 126 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,680 ALL: Ooh! 127 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,640 Do with that knowledge as you will. 128 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,200 Room Three is to remain empty 129 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,680 for the next 24 hours, I'm afraid. 130 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,560 The only good room? Yeah, so no water births. 131 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,760 The Secretary of State for God knows what 132 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,440 is coming around tomorrow, so I'm assuming that 133 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:34,560 we all wanna keep our jobs. 134 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,240 They must think the entire NHS smells like fresh paint. 135 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,400 Still, new computer. 136 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,240 It's been years since I've been able to type words with G in it. 137 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:43,400 LAUGHTER 138 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,040 I wouldn't get too attached, love. 139 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,840 Once the right honourable bastard has done his little tour, 140 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,800 that'll all be gone faster than they can say "AandE closure". 141 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,360 Right, who fancies twins? 142 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,200 DRILL WHIRS 143 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,160 I know I can count on you 144 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,120 to keep everything perfect. Yes, Nigel. 145 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,480 And you're going to keep Room Three free? 146 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,840 Look, if the patients don't need it, Nigel. 147 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,920 Ah, Kay, bit of good news for you. 148 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,280 They've dropped the complaint? 149 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,960 Ministerial visit tomorrow, and you get to shake his hand. 150 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,640 That explains why we've got the hospital's only mop today. 151 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,280 Yeah, shouldn't be too taxing. 152 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:29,440 Wander round the ward smiling like a gay proctologist, 153 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,200 then tell a quick, charming anecdote, 154 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,280 and it's off to the meeting room 155 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,520 for a plate of Sainsbury's cheapest sandwiches. You on? 156 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,160 It would be my honour. Good man. 157 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,360 ALARM BLARES Right. 24 hours 158 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,920 to make this place look like a labour ward. 159 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,280 ALARM CONTINUES 160 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,920 Ah, traditionally at this point, 161 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,600 a couple of you would be running to the emergency. 162 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,560 Oh, we usually wait a bit. It's faulty. 163 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,440 It randomly goes off for a couple of seconds. 164 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,400 If it keeps going, we'll run. But normally it just... 165 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,360 ALARM STOPS ..stops. 166 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,840 How often does this happen? 167 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,400 Er, couple of times an hour. Well, add that to the list. 168 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,880 Of course. And what would you like me 169 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,280 to take off the list to make time? 170 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:05,760 Right. 171 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,320 I'm on it. PAGER BEEPS 172 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,480 What's wrong with her, then? 173 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,600 I couldn't tell you. 174 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,000 Is there someone who could? She's obviously in pain, 175 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,680 but she won't let us look. 176 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:23,040 She's being...obstructive. 177 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,760 Meaning? Meaning she told me to fuck off in four different languages. 178 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,320 Sounds like she's OK to me. 179 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,040 Oh... 180 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,800 It is not sehr gut news, I'm afraid. 181 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:43,680 Oh, dear. I am afraid ze whole leg will have to be cut off. 182 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:45,280 Oh! I've just ordered new slippers. 183 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,920 Oh, no. Will it grow back? 184 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,560 No. I don't think it will. 185 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:54,320 Er, Petr, would you mind escorting Professor Einstein 186 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,640 back to her laboratory? 187 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,480 Any chance you know which ward you're on? 188 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,880 Sorry if that lady was bothering you. 189 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:05,920 Are you kidding? 190 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,920 She's the best doctor I've seen since I've been in here. 191 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,840 Is there, er, anything the matter? 192 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,360 Oh, no, just here for delicious food. 193 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,160 HE LAUGHS How soundproof 194 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,560 do you think that thing is? 195 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:21,640 So how can I help you today, Mrs Winnicka? 196 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,120 I think something coming out. 197 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,480 Of there. 198 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,440 I hope not - labour ward's full. 199 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,200 Er, do you mind if I have a quick look? 200 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,160 Bend your legs, feet together, drop your knees to the side. 201 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,800 Well, get on with it. 202 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,480 HE CLEARS THROAT 203 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,240 OK. 204 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,440 Nothing to panic about - 205 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,320 you've got a bit of a prolapse there. 206 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,760 That's your uterus you can feel coming out. 207 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:55,920 Oh! Very common. 208 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,400 There's something we can put inside to sort of... 209 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,880 ..hold it all up there. 210 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,600 Haven't had anything up there since decimalisation. 211 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,360 I'll get you booked into urogynae clinic 212 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,640 in the next few days. 213 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,560 Tell you what. 214 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,200 I'll get everything I need from clinic 215 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,720 and pop back up with it later. 216 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,920 Go on, then, what you waiting for? 217 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,680 Well, everything looks absolutely fine. 218 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:29,560 If the tummy pain's settled, then I think we can.... 219 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:30,720 Mummy's having a conversation. 220 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,480 Why don't we look at your book for a bit? 221 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,920 Oh, well, like I was saying, if the tummy pain has settled, 222 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,680 then I think we can probably get you back home. 223 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,720 If you're sure. If anything changes, just come back in and see us. 224 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,840 I mean, we are never closed. Unfortunately. 225 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,040 DAD: Stop. CHILD GIGGLES 226 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,120 Stop. 227 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,920 Stop it. Would you guys just, like, hang on one minute, please? 228 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,720 ALARM BLARES My lady in One is absolutely 229 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:55,960 desperate for a water birth. 230 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,160 Any chance we can get her into Room Three? 231 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,360 I'm really sorry, but it's above my pay grade. 232 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,120 Lockhart needs it empty so we can show it off to the Minister. 233 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:04,720 OK, well, I've asked. 234 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,000 Don't you think that they should see what this place 235 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,560 is really like, rather than some Sellotaped-together version? 236 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,280 Good plan. And when they sack me, you gonna pay my mortgage 237 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,200 directly into the bank or just give me the cash? 238 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,760 RIA: You'd think they'd have picked a quieter time to come. 239 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,440 Sorry to bother you. But... And yet here you are. 240 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,200 So someone came in with nothing the matter 241 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,560 and you sent them home? 242 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,640 No, but... I'm sorry, I'm quite busy right now. 243 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,680 I probably can't arrange a full parade in your honour. 244 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:35,000 No, look. The stickers on her file. 245 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,440 Oh, shit. That's a domestic abuse alert, right? 246 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,160 In the ladies' toilets there are red stickers 247 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,320 that you put on your notes 248 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,280 if you wanna talk privately about domestic abuse. 249 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,560 Good spot. 250 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,040 Parade's back on. 251 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,600 Hi! I'm Adam, one of the doctors. 252 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,960 Everything OK? 253 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,280 Nothing to worry about. 254 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,920 Just wondering if I could have a couple of words with you 255 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:58,400 in private? Ah, we want to stay with Mummy, don't we, Ernie? 256 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,280 Well, I do have to examine your wife in quite a personal way. 257 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,800 I thought you said it was a couple of words. 258 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,880 Yeah, the words are "vaginal" and "examination", 259 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,560 and I thought with your son here... OK. 260 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:10,160 ..it might be better... You'll be all right, darling? Yeah. 261 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,040 There's a coffee shop downstairs. 262 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,400 Well, I think the Caffe Nero opposite's probably safer. 263 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,720 Go! Zoom! Zoom! 264 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,240 Is everything OK at home, Anna? 265 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,800 SHE LAUGHS How do you mean? 266 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:25,880 Anna, you can tell us. 267 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,480 I mean, you've done the hard bit already. 268 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,160 Er, the stickers? 269 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,080 ERNIE: Stickers! 270 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,120 Oh, God. 271 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,160 He's always doing this sort of thing. 272 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,680 ERNIE: Sticky stickers! 273 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,320 ANNA: He loves stickers. DAD: Ernie? 274 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,720 Ernie! ERNIE: Sticky stickers. 275 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,520 So sorry. 276 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,000 Come on, then, Miss Marple. 277 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,480 DAD: Oh! Rascal. 278 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,440 ALARM BLARES 279 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,000 WOMAN: False alarm, everyone. 280 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,120 There was something weird about him. 281 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,560 Yeah. 282 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:57,960 He was a posh twat. 283 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,160 But you don't get arrested for that. 284 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,200 SHE SCOFFS Just as well. 285 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,480 Me? You can talk. 286 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,600 My mum's a dinner lady and my dad's an electrician. 287 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,960 Well, where did I get the idea that your parents were doctors? 288 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,240 Ooh, er, from racist stereotypes? 289 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,680 Um, no! 290 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,560 No, no, no. Um... 291 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:18,200 You... I'm kidding. 292 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,760 You do know that, like, 293 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,040 not everyone gets this handed to them on a plate, right? 294 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,040 Like, it didn't even occur to my parents 295 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,680 that I could end up being a doctor. 296 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,440 All right, Little Orphan Annie. 297 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,280 How did you end up here, then? 298 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,200 HE SPLUTTERS 299 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,000 Er, my... Well, my dad was a doctor, and... 300 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,640 And he had this big plate? 301 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,320 DAD: No, I won't calm down, Anna. 302 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,320 What the hell did you think this was gonna achieve? 303 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,680 SHRUTI: Sorry, sorry... 304 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,440 I, er... Er, glad I... Glad I caught you. 305 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,480 Er, I was just discussing your case a bit more 306 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,360 with my colleague and we thought that it'd be best 307 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,120 to keep you in overnight. For a test. 308 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,920 Er, what sort of test? 309 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,400 A...a scan test. So a scan? 310 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,480 Yes, yes, exactly. ANNA: What's wrong? 311 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:08,680 Is something wrong with the baby? 312 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,440 Oh, no, I... I'm sure everything's fine, 313 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,160 I just wanna check the baby's growing properly. 314 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,480 And you can't do it today? 315 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,720 Er, well, there actually aren't any slots till morning, 316 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,040 er, so if we just... Just to be on the safe side, probably best 317 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,680 to stay in overnight. DAD: That's fine. 318 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,360 I'll keep her company till visiting hours end. 319 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:22,880 Is your phone charged? Yep. 320 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,600 ADAM: It's going off every three minutes. 321 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:33,080 No, I don't have the error code for the secondary console. 322 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,960 BEEP 323 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,600 I don't even know what a secondary console is. 324 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:43,360 Listen, I need someone to come here with a tool box, 325 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,600 a jumpsuit, and the phrase "I have fixed the alarm." 326 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,680 What? 327 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,960 Three weeks?! 328 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,920 Which of Neptune's moons are you based on, exactly? 329 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,520 Listen, forget it. 330 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,640 Pleasure doing business with you. 331 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,160 Er, can I help you? 332 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,400 Er, I'm starting an Ultimate Frisbee team. 333 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,720 Do you want in? 334 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,680 ALARM BLARES 335 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,160 Hi. 336 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,320 Sorry, hi. 337 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:25,560 Are you working on labour ward? 338 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,680 Yeah. Can you see if you can do anything 339 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,840 to stop the alarm going off every three seconds? 340 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,200 I'll have a go. 341 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,760 Can you have a success? 342 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,440 ALARM CONTINUES 343 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,640 OK. 344 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,880 Just... Just try to relax. 345 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,920 Oh, it's easy for you to say. 346 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,960 Went to the theatre last night. 347 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,760 Oh, how thrilling for you. In a way. 348 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,680 Had a massive argument with my mother. 349 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,440 Yes, and have you apologised yet? 350 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,200 Didn't do anything wrong. She's your mother. 351 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,800 She could be dead tomorrow. 352 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,600 I'll apologise in my eulogy, then. 353 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,720 Yep, there it is, all done. 354 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,160 How's that feel? 355 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,680 Better? 356 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,000 Better. 357 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:22,640 That's good. 358 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:28,280 Right, I will get you booked into clinic 359 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,360 to have it replaced in six months. 360 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:32,200 Will you be doing it? 361 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,600 Ah, it sort of depends on... 362 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,640 Yeah. Sure. That's a shame. 363 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,360 Just because it's only got one Michelin star 364 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,080 doesn't mean it's not a good restaurant, Mum. 365 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,520 Well, how on Earth am I meant to know how hygienic the kitchen is? 366 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,400 SHRUTI: Ria, who's the safeguarding midwife? 367 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,640 RIA: Oh, it used to be Paulette, but she left. 368 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,840 Thank God. If it's urgent, you can speak to Tracy. 369 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,440 OK, yep, see you at eight. 370 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,720 Bye. MUM HANGS UP 371 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,560 Don't forget to charge your broomstick. 372 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,840 SHRUTI: Adam, where's Tracy? 373 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,720 Dunno. Busy getting her MBE? 374 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,600 CRASH, PAINED YELLING 375 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,800 Jesus Christ. What's happened here? 376 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,760 I'll tell you in a minute. Can you just check her CTG? 377 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,840 First baby, 41 but otherwise low risk. 378 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,240 What happened in there? 379 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,960 Oh, my God. 380 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,480 Jesus. 381 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,640 Hi, I'm Adam. 382 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,200 One of the doctors. I was supposed to be 383 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,280 having a water birth. 384 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,640 You never know - one of the pipes might come down. 385 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,000 Baby's heart rate's improving nicely. So sorry. We'll, er, 386 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,120 we'll, er, we'll get you somewhere, another room. 387 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,160 No, we don't have another room, so... What? 388 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,560 ..we'll just clear this one up. OK? 389 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,280 She's the boss. 390 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:55,880 What happened in there? 391 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,520 I'll tell you what didn't happen - the bloody alarm. 392 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,320 I pulled it twice, and nothing, 393 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,440 so I put a bit more welly into it... 394 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,600 What did you do? Nothing. 395 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,320 Don't bullshit me. 396 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:07,360 Well, the... 397 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,200 ..the alarm company couldn't send anyone for three weeks 398 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,720 so I asked a workman to... 399 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:14,960 ..have a go. 400 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,040 And how would you say they did, out of ten? 401 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,200 SHE SIGHS Fuck this. 402 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,880 Good news. We've found you another room. 403 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,440 There's even a pool in there for water birth. 404 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,640 And can I still eat my placenta? Sure, why not? 405 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,600 Dr Adam! 406 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,640 How's my little friend? 407 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,000 Oh, you know, just keeping busy. 408 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,760 Cleaned the oven this morning, then I came down here. 409 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,080 Er, can I ask what you're doing here? 410 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,240 Sorry, we, er, we did meet before but it was... 411 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,480 Yeah, it was only briefly. Er, I'm the doctor 412 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,000 who delivered your nephew. I know exactly who you are. 413 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,320 That's why I'm asking 414 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:08,600 if it's appropriate for you to be here right now. 415 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,280 Um...sorry, yeah, of course. 416 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,520 I was just going. Yeah. 417 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,000 ERIKA: Bye, Dr Adam! 418 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,160 HARRY: 'Go on, then, what's the damage?' 419 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,320 Er, 10? 11? HE SIGHS 420 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,320 You remember you said you'd go through my presentation 421 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,400 when you got home? Do you remember how 422 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,560 you wanted me to meet my mum for dinner? 423 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,640 Amazing! Well, good luck. 424 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,640 Let me know how it goes, yeah? Mm. 425 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,360 And remember the magic words. 426 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:57,000 If she tries to suck out my soul, I say, "Expecto Patronum". 427 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,560 I was thinking, "I'm sorry". 428 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:00,920 Good luck. 429 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,760 Oh, thank you, you've remembered us at last. 430 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,320 I hope it is to your satisfaction this time. Are those chives? 431 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:17,000 And get him a new one, too, that's gone stone-cold. 432 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,480 Of course, madam. 433 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,960 If you could maybe only spit in hers? 434 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,560 I can't remember the last time I saw you two months in a row, 435 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,200 let alone two evenings. 436 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,760 How's work? 437 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,480 Er, yeah, work's... 438 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:31,760 ..fine, yes. 439 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,560 I'm acting registrar now - did I mention that? 440 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,440 Yes, it's wonderful news. 441 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,320 Your father and I are very proud. 442 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,720 Lesley's son's a professor. 443 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,920 L... Lesley's son's 50. 444 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,480 He said, she said. 445 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,800 Anyway, I'm showing a minister round the ward tomorrow. 446 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,960 Oh, that's fantastic, darling. 447 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,040 How many doctors were they choosing from? 448 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,000 Quite a lot, actually. Hundreds, I expect. 449 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:04,680 Um, so yesterday, at the... 450 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,880 ..at the theatre... 451 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,080 ..we didn't really get the chance to speak properly. 452 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,240 Well, you weren't there for half of it. 453 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,640 I said something pretty important to you when I arrived. 454 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:19,520 When you finally arrived. What I'm saying is I want to apologise to you 455 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,080 for not saying it in the best way. 456 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,840 But, er, it's important to me. 457 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:27,920 He's important to me. 458 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,720 When's Gregory's wedding? 459 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,960 I really like the girl he's marrying, don't you? 460 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,880 She's very charming. I'm talking to you about Harry, though, 461 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,920 aren't I, Mum? Not Greg. 462 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,600 I'm saying to you that I live with Harry. 463 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,360 And we only have one bedroom. 464 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,880 Do you want a deposit on a bigger flat? 465 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,560 Is that what all this is about? 466 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,080 I'm saying to you, I live with Harry, 467 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,440 I'm very happy, and we love each other, and we're gay. 468 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,320 Both of you? 469 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,600 HE LAUGHS 470 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,480 Yes, both of... 471 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,800 What was wrong with Helen? 472 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,360 You were so nice together. 473 00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:05,480 I'm gay, Mum. Look. I've watched you pull your pants down 474 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,480 at far too many children's birthday parties 475 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,240 to be fazed by one of your outbursts. 476 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,040 This is not an outburst. 477 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:13,560 Thank you. 478 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:16,960 Thank you. 479 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,600 I don't know what you're getting so uppity about. 480 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,080 I said to your father he seemed... 481 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,440 ..fairly nice. He is nice. He's very nice. 482 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:36,680 Did I tell you Monica's having her kitchen redone again? 483 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,240 Glass everywhere. 484 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,800 Looks awful. 485 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,400 Anyway, we're engaged. 486 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,320 We're getting married. 487 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,000 HARRY: So, how'd it go, then? Yeah, fine. 488 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,520 She didn't kill you, then. That's something. Yeah... 489 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,240 Yeah, she got it. 490 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,520 See? I knew she would, if you just apologised 491 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:26,880 for springing it on her. 492 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,080 So, um...what did she say? 493 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,680 Oh, you know, she mainly talked about herself. 494 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,400 But she was, er... 495 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,120 ..interested in you. 496 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:44,040 And, er, yeah, asked lots of questions. 497 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,560 Like what? 498 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,240 About your job, 499 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,960 and about your family. 500 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,920 And she said she can't wait to meet you properly, 501 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,400 next time she's in London, stealing Dalmatians. 502 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:58,960 I knew she'd be happy if you 503 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,920 were just straight with her. I think she'd be happier 504 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,160 if I was straight full stop. 505 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,640 Well, why don't we arrange for us to all meet up again? 506 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:05,960 I'm knackered, I should probably... 507 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,640 Or we can ask her over for dinner. 508 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,520 I can make...fajitas? 509 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:13,000 Does she like fajitas? I mean, who doesn't love fajitas? 510 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,800 And I make amazing fajitas. Harry... 511 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,120 These really good... 512 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,480 513 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:35,360 and dance the blues 514 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,720 515 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:46,120 playing on the radio 516 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,440 517 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:57,560 518 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,600 519 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:10,480 to an empty space 520 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:19,760 521 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,960 522 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:31,080 523 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,200 524 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:40,880 525 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,680 WHISPERS: Anna? 526 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:47,920 Anna? 527 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,680 SHE CLEARS THROAT 528 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,200 Anna! 529 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,520 into my arms... 530 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:56,720 Anna... 531 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,160 ANNA GASPS My God. 532 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,360 God. 533 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,160 Oh, God, I'm so sorry, did I wake you? 534 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:04,680 I know the answer's yes. 535 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,200 I totally woke you up. I'm so sorry. 536 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,720 What's going on? 537 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,320 Er, I just wanted, er, to talk to you. 538 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:11,760 In the middle of the night? 539 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,920 I thought you might wanna have a chat? 540 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,600 And there's no-one else you can have a chat with? 541 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,400 Wait here just one, one second, just give me one second. 542 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,760 Do your scan now, shall we, yeah? 543 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,080 Just watch out...just watch out for that. 544 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,480 Ooh! Bit cold, sorry. 545 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,800 Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? 546 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,440 They said she's a girl. 547 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:53,520 Yeah, I agree. 548 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,440 That's her heart... HEARTBEAT POUNDS 549 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,400 ..beating away there. That all looks good. 550 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,040 You know, it's really a weird job being an obstetrician. 551 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,640 Cos you always look after two separate patients at once. 552 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,240 BEEP 553 00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:15,240 It's... 554 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,600 It's just since I've been pregnant. 555 00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:22,880 It's not his fault. He's not a bad man. 556 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,360 What's changed since you've been pregnant? 557 00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:28,760 SHE SIGHS Ernie can be a real handful, 558 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,240 and his work's so stressful at the moment. 559 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,680 He didn't mean to. 560 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:37,280 Anna, will you let me help you? 561 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,040 What's that? 562 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,800 Nothing interesting, just a work form. 563 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,280 This suit too tatty? 564 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:11,320 Be honest. 565 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,080 If anything, it's impressive 566 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,560 you've managed to keep your school uniform so neat. 567 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,640 Where's the one you wore to Hannah's wedding? 568 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,160 Is that the wedding where we swam in the pond? Yeah. 569 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,360 In the pond. 570 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,440 Well, you look very handsome, 571 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,760 in your suit with your shoes, and that little bit 572 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,520 of beard you've left on your cheek. 573 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:36,520 Oh, Jeez. 574 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:40,120 HARRY: Oh, hey! 575 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,280 No, no, it's Harry. 576 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,680 No, no, he's just in the...the bathroom, 577 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:45,880 he'll be out in a sec. 578 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,800 Sorry we didn't get to chat much at the theatre. 579 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,480 Ha, thank you. 580 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,880 Congratulations for? 581 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,240 Oh, right. 582 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,800 Yes, of course. Silly me. Er... 583 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,600 I can... He's just here now. I'll pass you over. 584 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,440 It's your mum. 585 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,480 Hi, Mum. 586 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,080 Mum, the signal is bad. 587 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,080 I'll call you back later. 588 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:14,960 OK, bye. 589 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,760 I told her that we were engaged. 590 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,440 Yeah, I worked that bit out. 591 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,240 This better be a fucking amazing explanation. 592 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,040 You don't know her. I'm starting to think I don't know you. 593 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,160 It was... It was the only thing I could think to say to... 594 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,040 ..make her take us seriously. 595 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,600 Well, wouldn't it be a good start if you took us seriously? 596 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,400 HE LAUGHS I proposed. That's serious. 597 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,320 Yeah, and what did I say? Hm? 598 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,520 Let me in. Let me know what's going on in there. 599 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,080 "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." 600 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,280 "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." 601 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:46,720 "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." 602 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,040 I knew it was a terrible idea coming out to her. 603 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,560 How can you say that? 604 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,280 Well, look what's happened. 605 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,760 Come here. Sorry. 606 00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,840 It's OK. Well done for telling her. 607 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:08,080 Er, what's going on here? Some wiring issue. 608 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,560 How long's it gonna take? How long's a piece of wire? 609 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,160 Excuse me. 610 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:14,960 I presume this will be tidied away within the next hour? 611 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,240 Jesus Christ. It's like downtown Basra in here. 612 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,320 I didn't think it would be possible 613 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:21,640 to make the place look worse. 614 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:23,440 We needed to stop the alarm misfiring, so I... 615 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,280 Threw a grenade at the ceiling? 616 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,360 God, and don't let the fire officer see that suit. 617 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,120 The whole place could go up. NURSE: Can we get a doctor 618 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,360 into Room Three, please? Tracy! 619 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:33,960 LOCKHART: Clean that up. The minister will be here... 620 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,840 Hi, I'm Adam, one of the doctors. We met yesterday. 621 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,720 Straightforward water birth three minutes ago, 622 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,080 placenta not coming easily, and now a bit of a bleed. 623 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,400 Right. BABY CRIES 624 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,480 OK, let's, er, pop you onto the bed 625 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,360 so the doctor can have a proper look. OK? 626 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,000 Er, and I... I can still eat my placenta 627 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,520 after this, you're...you're not gonna take it away? 628 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,320 That's a question for the midwives, not me, I'm afraid. 629 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,440 Yeah, it's perfectly natural. 630 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:01,760 Dogs do it. 631 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,120 They also eat their young and fuck the furniture. 632 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,880 Don't worry, it won't take long. 633 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,240 Is that pain relief OK? 634 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,920 OK. Right, first things first, let's see where 635 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,360 this bleed is coming from. 636 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:15,200 Yep, you've got a bit of a tear here. 637 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:17,800 Suture, needle-holder, scissors, large swabs. Thanks. 638 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:21,560 MUM CRIES 639 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:23,080 I'll be two minutes. 640 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:24,520 Just a quick bit of needlework. 641 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:28,640 DAD: Isn't she lovely? 642 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,160 That's the bleeding stopped. 643 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,760 TRACY: We'll get her weighed, as soon as Doctor's left. 644 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,400 Now, delicious.... 645 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,000 ..placenta. SQUELCHY SLAP 646 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,120 Hang on. Isn't...? 647 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:43,920 Isn't this... 648 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,800 ..the placenta? 649 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,120 No, that's blood clots from inside your... 650 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:51,600 That's blood clots. 651 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,800 SHE RETCHES, PAGER BUZZES 652 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:58,800 'Crash call to gynae. Crash call to gynae.' 653 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:00,200 ALARM BLARES 654 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,640 RESUS NURSE: 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. 655 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,360 NURSE: OK. I've got access. 656 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,600 Er, can I help? I'm one of the obs and gynae registrars. 657 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,080 What do you know about her? 658 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,200 Er, Magda Winnicka, 85 years old, 659 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,000 long-stay stable vulval cancer patient, awaiting discharge. 660 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,840 Otherwise fit as a fiddle. Well, she's not now, is she? 661 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:22,040 PETR: I'm so sorry, Doctor, I hadn't checked the notes before. 662 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:23,720 Oh, for God's sake. 663 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,680 This patient has a valid Do Not Resuscitate form. 664 00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,440 Is everybody happy to stop CPR now? 665 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,400 No, come on, we can give her a good shot. 666 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,960 Resuscitation discontinued at 10:42. 667 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,560 ADAM: She was absolutely fine yesterday. 668 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,120 I fitted her a pessary, 669 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,520 she was up in bed, talking. We're not going against 670 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,960 a Do Not Resuscitate order authorised by the patient. 671 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:42,560 Are you happy to certify death? 672 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:48,600 DOOR CLOSES 673 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,960 I took my mum for dinner, by the way. 674 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:14,840 Total disaster. 675 00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:19,880 Mostly my fault. 676 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,520 I told her I was getting married, 677 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,920 which was a bit of a lie. 678 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,000 I mean, I asked him, but he said no, 679 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,560 which is fair enough, really. 680 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,800 I always used to reckon I was good at medicine and... 681 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,600 ..bad at the other stuff. 682 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,160 Not doing great at either right now. 683 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,480 PEN SCRATCHES 684 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:31,720 Don't you dare haunt me. 685 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:39,760 DOOR CLOSES 686 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:52,920 Oh, yes, yes. 687 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,520 I can see zat you will probably be dead by... 688 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,240 ..Freitag. 689 00:35:58,240 --> 00:35:59,680 Zat one zere, 690 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:03,000 she has the worse case of worms I ever, ever seen. 691 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,640 That's her bloody surname. 692 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,120 Have another look. 693 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,560 She's not on the antenatal ward. They told me she's here. 694 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,240 Just tell me what room she's in. 695 00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:15,440 RIA: Of course, if you'll give me a moment. 696 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,000 Is this a joke? 697 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,080 What am I meant to do? 698 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,120 Anna, please don't worry about it, OK? 699 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,920 It's gonna be all right. DOOR OPENS 700 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,680 So, er, OK, we're gonna sort it out, all right? 701 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,840 Sort what out? Er... 702 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:37,520 ..we just need to run a few more tests. 703 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,640 How long is this gonna take? 704 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,240 I'm sure it won't take long. 705 00:36:44,240 --> 00:36:46,600 Mr Hanson, actually, I'd prefer if you could give us 706 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,680 a few more minutes. You need to drop your attitude. 707 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,920 Angus. Please. She's had you in here all night. 708 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,320 She's fannying around, clearly doesn't know what she's doing. 709 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,760 Why don't I get someone else to come in 710 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,000 and do the scan, then, yeah? 711 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:03,920 Just do your little tests, 712 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:05,440 and we'll get home. 713 00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:13,000 LOCKHART: Spit-spot, team, they'll be here any moment. 714 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,240 Ah. I guess pyjamas are probably better than nylon and vomit. 715 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,640 I had a patient die today. 716 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,800 Someone... 717 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,280 You know, someone I really cared for. 718 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,080 Well, you can't have cared for her that well if she died. 719 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,360 I thought I might go to her funeral. 720 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,440 You're not going to a patient's funeral. 721 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:41,760 It's unprofessional. 722 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,960 Did I say "go to her funeral" or did I say 723 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:45,440 "fuck her grandchildren"? 724 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:46,800 Er... 725 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,640 I don't want to be unprofessional, I just wanna... 726 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,160 ..wanna make sure that there's, er, a friendly face there. 727 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,760 Oh, you gonna make some balloon animals as well? 728 00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,240 We've got boundaries for a reason. 729 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:03,720 Shit happens. You can't just let yourself feel it all. 730 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,000 RIA: They're just leaving the main building. 731 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,320 Be with you in three minutes. 732 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:09,720 LOCKHART: Eyes right. 733 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:16,960 How long is this gonna take? I just wanna monitor 734 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,720 the baby's heart for 15 minutes. 735 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:21,640 Does it have to be that long? Why don't I put a Do Not Disturb sign 736 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:23,640 on the door, just to stop anyone coming in, cos the doors 737 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,120 don't have locks here. 738 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,160 Fine. 739 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,880 ERNIE: Neeeowwww! 740 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:35,880 Shut that child up. 741 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,560 TEARFULLY: Ernie, darling, don't do that. 742 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:46,040 CHATTER CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS 743 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,720 Call security now. Room One. 744 00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:59,720 LOCKHART: Kay! Get back here. 745 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:05,680 Everything OK? 746 00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,400 Yeah. We're, er, done here. Just heading home. 747 00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,720 Thanks very much for all your help, love. 748 00:39:11,720 --> 00:39:13,080 Anything I can do, Shruti? 749 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:16,080 The problem I was worried about is a problem-problem. 750 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,760 This is the second full day of being messed around 751 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,600 by this department. And just so you know, Dr... 752 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,240 ..er, Kay, I am going to complain about all this. 753 00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:25,680 Just give me five minutes with your wife, please, sir, 754 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,360 and then you can complain to the chief executive, 755 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,240 the Health Secretary, and Princess Michael of Kent 756 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:31,680 for all I care. We're leaving. Come on. 757 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,480 No. Hey! 758 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:35,160 That's assault. Did you see that? 759 00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,560 He assaulted me. Come on. Ernie... 760 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:40,080 Get out of my way. You know what, maybe we should just go home. 761 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:41,720 Sweetheart, listen, listen, listen. 762 00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:43,280 Can we just get Ernie? Shut your mouth. 763 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,000 No, hey... Come with us, please. This is mental. 764 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,720 Totally unnecessary. This way, sir. 765 00:39:47,720 --> 00:39:49,560 I, I need to speak to somebody senior. 766 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:50,800 No, you need to come with us. 767 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,200 ANGUS: Tell them! I've done nothing wrong. 768 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:54,920 I'll leave this with you, Shruti. 769 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:56,480 ANGUS: This is ridiculous. Who do I need to speak to? 770 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:57,920 Well done. ANGUS: Anna! 771 00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,920 LOCKHART: This is our most recently refurbished suite. 772 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,040 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS VISITORS GASP 773 00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,760 Well, that was, er, something of a surprise. 774 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,560 Er, shall we? 775 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,640 Oh, shit, they're taking photographs. 776 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:17,480 Better change the patients' initials. 777 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,000 For confidentiality. 778 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,600 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS 779 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:39,280 He'll be held overnight at least, so that's time to get you and Ernie 780 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,160 somewhere safe. I don't need somewhere safe. 781 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,080 Anna, you don't have to put up with this any more. 782 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,720 He only got angry today because it was all taking so long. 783 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:47,720 You told me that he... SHE CLEARS THROAT 784 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,080 Mummy's just going to the toilet I'll be right back. 785 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,200 DOOR CLOSES Well, what now? 786 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:01,240 We'll work out a safeguarding plan. You did really well today. 787 00:41:01,240 --> 00:41:04,000 It's all fucking pointless, though, isn't it? 788 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,640 ERNIE: Fucking pointless. Fucking pointless. 789 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:11,960 SIREN BLARES 790 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,760 Hey. I thought you were gonna stand me up there. 791 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,320 Oh, my God. 792 00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:29,280 Oh, I'm so sorry. Er, what time is it? 793 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,800 How long have you been waiting? Er, don't worry. 794 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,080 They're holding our table for us. 795 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,680 Er... 796 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:40,280 ..listen, do you mind if, if we raincheck, please? 797 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,280 I'm not feeling too great. 798 00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,160 No worries. Another time. 799 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,280 See you around. 800 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:03,280 I will end with the Prayer of Commendation for the Dying. 801 00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:09,480 To you, O Lord, we commend the soul of Magda Winnicka, 802 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:11,480 your servant. 803 00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:15,800 In the sight of this world she is now dead. 804 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:19,160 In your sight, may she live forever. 805 00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:25,800 Forgive whatever sins she committed through human weakness... 806 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,000 SPEECH FADES 807 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:33,320 ORGAN MUSIC 808 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,480 Hey! 809 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,000 Are you OK? 810 00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:45,800 I'm just... 811 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:57,920 I've had better days. 812 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,440 Were you...close? 813 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:05,520 Um... 814 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,360 I think she hated me, actually. 815 00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:21,760 Seriously, it really means a lot that you brought me here. 816 00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,960 Bring you to all the best places, don't I? 817 00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:27,560 I've been thinking a lot about... 818 00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:32,160 ..that question you asked me. 819 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:37,800 I've changed my mind. 820 00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:45,120 Go on, ask it again. 821 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,040 Will you marry me? 822 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:54,200 Of course I will. 823 00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:01,680 Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure. 824 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,400 BOTH LAUGH 825 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:10,960 Good. 826 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,720 Cos I've already booked the venue. 827 00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,960 HARRY: Her grandson's fit, isn't he? 828 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:39,280 829 00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:47,200 830 00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:54,640 all my tranquil pills away 831 00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:02,800 go on its way 832 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:11,080 833 00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:19,280 834 00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:24,520 835 00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:32,840 836 00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:40,720 837 00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:48,320 838 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:55,000